journals

Book Burning!!!

Just kidding! I would never burn a book. But, I did burn all of my journals! 10 years and one month worth! I can’t believe I stuck with something that long! I’m actually proud of myself that I did.

A few people were shocked that I did and almost made me question doing it. But it was my decision and I’m happy with it. I started journaling when I was 12 and am now ending it (at least in this way) when I’m 22.

This is my very first journal on the left and my very last on the right.

The box was so heavy I couldn’t even lift it long enough to take a picture standing up! I had well over 20!

My wonderful friend Karissa was all about helping me. I knew she would be supportive and not try to sit there and talk me out of it.

 

It was actually therapeutic! I didn’t regret what I was doing during the burning and I didn’t even feel sad about it.

 

We also had a wonderful time hiking and taking pictures and enjoying the crisp fall weather.

 

And this picture below is Karissa’s work. I’m so glad I have a friend to just spend hours taking pictures with!

It was a great night 🙂

New Journaling Ways…

Well, for some time now I’ve been debating on what to do with my old journals. I began keeping journals since I was about eleven or twelve. And a part of me feels as though I should never let them go due to some ridiculous fears; like I’m going to forget my memories. But when I’m older (I’m only 22 now) will I even want to look back at them and read them? I can’t remember the last time I have done that. Do I want to look back and see all the negativity and stress? I wasn’t journaling positive things much. It was more of a way to vent and complain and work my way through difficult situations on my own. Not to mention, I NEVER want anyone ever reading these. Not my future children, or future husband and certainly not my family. Although I still enjoy keeping a journal I feel as though their existence is bothering me. I’ve spent so much money on the notebooks and so much time writing. And although I still have one now I sometimes feel as though it is a chore to write in it. If I don’t have time to do it often I feel as though it is something I have forgotten to do and there is some stress to get it done. It’s just another thing on my “to-do” list. I feel as though some of the things I’ve written about the past are not true or not exactly how I was feeling. I’m not the same person I was when I was sixteen and I’m not even the same person as I was last year. I’ve been trying to find creative ways to journal or something new to do. So I’ve decided to give this a try and sleep on destroying my journals for a few more nights. I’m leaning towards keeping pages that I want and burning the rest. I don’t need to look back on exes (they’re exes for a reason) , or to look back on things I’m not proud of – maybe getting rid of these will help me move on. And if the memory is important enough, I’ll remember it.

So here’s to new journaling a new start and hopefully a weight lifted off my shoulders.