Well, for some time now I’ve been debating on what to do with my old journals. I began keeping journals since I was about eleven or twelve. And a part of me feels as though I should never let them go due to some ridiculous fears; like I’m going to forget my memories. But when I’m older (I’m only 22 now) will I even want to look back at them and read them? I can’t remember the last time I have done that. Do I want to look back and see all the negativity and stress? I wasn’t journaling positive things much. It was more of a way to vent and complain and work my way through difficult situations on my own. Not to mention, I NEVER want anyone ever reading these. Not my future children, or future husband and certainly not my family. Although I still enjoy keeping a journal I feel as though their existence is bothering me. I’ve spent so much money on the notebooks and so much time writing. And although I still have one now I sometimes feel as though it is a chore to write in it. If I don’t have time to do it often I feel as though it is something I have forgotten to do and there is some stress to get it done. It’s just another thing on my “to-do” list. I feel as though some of the things I’ve written about the past are not true or not exactly how I was feeling. I’m not the same person I was when I was sixteen and I’m not even the same person as I was last year. I’ve been trying to find creative ways to journal or something new to do. So I’ve decided to give this a try and sleep on destroying my journals for a few more nights. I’m leaning towards keeping pages that I want and burning the rest. I don’t need to look back on exes (they’re exes for a reason) , or to look back on things I’m not proud of – maybe getting rid of these will help me move on. And if the memory is important enough, I’ll remember it.
So here’s to new journaling a new start and hopefully a weight lifted off my shoulders.